im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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