Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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