if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
