It's Friday. Sex?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
