It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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