hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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