"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
