I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
