butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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