are you still at the devil's house?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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