im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize