Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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