so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
