i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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