i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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