i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
