is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
