totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
