dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just cropdusted the office
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
