This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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