but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
