he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
