Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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