Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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