you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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