Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize