He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
