Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
