found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
