why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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