I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
