If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
