I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
