I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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