My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
