oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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