She is in my trunk
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
