And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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