two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize