arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
