Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize