we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
