I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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