I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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