Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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