I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
