8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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