i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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