who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
