I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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