If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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