i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize