Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
