"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
