There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
