Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
