You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
