i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
