I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
