We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
