Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
