don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize