Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize